I have always been a neat freak and somewhat a perfectionist. I love cleaning and staying organized. I can’t focus on anything if I have a messy room or an unorganized area. It would bother me until I had everything in place.
It became tough to keep up with cleaning and organizing once I had my children. Having baby blues at the same time wasn’t helping at all. I remember I would barely get any sleep at night, and as soon as my husband would wake up early morning to leave for work, I’d jump up before him and freshen up even though my eyes would be heavy of sleep. My husband would always wonder why I wake up early and not sleep in with the baby. I’d tell him that I need to clean the room and make the bed before the baby wakes up. I wanted to make sure the room was perfectly clean before he left so I could focus on my daughter once she was up.
It was exhausting at times because I would end up overdoing myself and not rest. I know everyone would advise me to sleep when the baby sleeps, but it was just impossible to snooze out for 45 minutes at a time every hour or two. I’d hold off my sleep till bedtime, but she would be most active at night.
So, everything just added on, the sleeplessness, the worry about having everything cleaned and organized, and feeling guilty about not being able to spend enough time with my baby. I know most of it had to do with the hormonal imbalance, but we all learn from experience.
When I had my boy, four years later, I knew I had to take it easy on myself. I knew I was going to go through baby blues and everything else, but I told myself that I would enjoy my baby and not worry about anything else. I gladly asked for help from a family member because I realized that they were always willing to lend a hand, and I don’t have to pretend to be a super mom because it’s not healthy for my mental state.
I enjoyed my time after having my son. I felt bad for being too hard on myself when I had my daughter. I wish someone had told me all that so I could’ve focused more on looking after my daughter than worrying about getting everything done properly. But we all learn from our daily experiences, and I want to tell all the new moms out there, please take it easy on yourself. Enjoy your newborn, and don’t worry about anything else. You can still rock that messy bun and those comfy pajamas. Just be comfortable, and love yourself!
The Studious Mom 