So, before giving birth, I had no idea a new mom goes through something called postpartum depression. I was so focused on buying these cute little clothes and arranging her nursery that I didn’t take a minute to look into how motherhood is really going to be.
And everyone around was so excited that nobody ever wanted to give me a glimpse of what to really expect. And social media didn’t help at all since everything is sugar-coated.
So after I brought my daughter home, I felt empty and sad. I didn’t know why. I would look at her and cry. The sleeplessness only made it worse. Everyone advised me to sleep when the baby sleeps, but that never worked because the baby would sleep at random times and for minimal hours. It would mess me up even more. I was breastfeeding, so it felt like my job was to only feed the baby. I felt stuck in the bedroom for hours. I started to think that my life was over. I thought that I am not going to have a social life and that my husband and I would never be able to bond again.
I started asking myself, what am I doing wrong? Why are new moms on my Instagram so happy? Am I a bad mom? Maybe, I don’t deserve to be a mother. There were days when I didn’t want to feed my baby. She would be crying, and so would I. My husband would step in, but nothing made me feel better. I remember him leaving the baby with his mother and taking me on a date night. I was crying while eating my burger, and my husband was so confused. I kept telling him I don’t know why, but I feel sad. I can’t help it.
Then one night, my cousin texted me, “hey, Maha! How’s it going with the baby?”. I didn’t know if I should admit how I really felt or just lie that everything was terrific. I replied by saying everything was just fine. The conversation that we had actually changed my life for the better. She actually spoke about her experience when she brought the baby home and how she exactly went through what I was going through at that moment. I remember chatting with her for an hour, and I felt so relieved knowing that it was all completely normal.
I gave birth to my daughter more than 5 years ago, and at that time, the nurses never went over the postpartum depression in detail. If they did, I wouldn’t be so miserable for the first three weeks after I had given birth. Anyways, fast forward four years later, I gave birth to my son, and I was mentally prepared for his arrival. Let me tell you, it was so much easier for me to handle my emotions because I knew what to expect. I was expecting to stay up late, going through baby blues, sleeplessness, etc. I enjoyed motherhood even though I had terrible backache from the epidural.
The first 4-6 weeks are tough because you are going through changes physically and mentally. Things get so much better eventually, and you can’t live without your little one. They start gaining weight and look so cute. They start interacting with you, and you just can’t have enough of them. Of course, there will be good days and bad days, but you make through it.
Comment below to share your experience. I would love to hear from you!